Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
