I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Congratulations! We have a period
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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