Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize