if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
