that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
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