did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize