dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
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