my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
