The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Randomize
