Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
