i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
The feeling are messing with the penis
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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