Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
