some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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