You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
