There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
