I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
