i don't like sucking hair
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
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