lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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