You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i came on her dog
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Randomize
