would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
