I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
wanna go halves on a baby?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Randomize
