belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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