called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
