Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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