Apparently you make a good broom.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Randomize
