Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
