he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
from now on my penis is your penis
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Randomize
