Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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