She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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