Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
