Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Randomize
