Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Operation Purity has been aborted
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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