Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
