I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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