that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
