At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize