I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
