whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
