; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
"it" just moved
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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