didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
just tell him i said nine months
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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