Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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