problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
