you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
