i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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