the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
