What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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