Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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