I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
and she was petting her beer can
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
