i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
