does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
