i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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