i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
My bed smells like the plague
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
