I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize