apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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