you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
