Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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