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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
