I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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