so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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