After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
He did a backflip because drugs
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