When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
