My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
