what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
