I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
