My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
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